I have taught, off and on, for the past 20 plus years about commitments. How they are created. How they work. How they are completed and what to do when they are broken. In all this time, I never really understood what I was teaching.
Sure, I knew intellectually the structure and process. I didn’t understand the heart of the matter. Recently I have experienced a number of commitments others made to me that were broken. These people decided that what they agreed upon was something they no longer could do or something else now took precedence. Whatever the reason the commitment was broken and I’m left with the consequence.
I look back and see all the times when I have done the same. I have made commitments and not taken them seriously. I have made commitments and found rationalizing stories to support my choice to not honor what I promised. I was afraid when I couldn’t meet a commitment and obfuscated or tried to make it look different than it was. Namely, I didn’t do what I agreed to.
It’s easy to walk in the mental space of understanding and engage the world like a third party. Observing what’s going on and not allowing the impact of what I do to be felt. This past week has been my opportunity to experience, to the depths of my soul, the impact of people not honoring their commitments.
I don’t find any value in being angry or wanting the other person to understand the impact their decisions have been for me. Rather, I appreciate the gift of this experience in allowing me to learn. From this learning everything about my life is different.
How does this change my life? I not sure yet. I do know that this feeling in my heart will always be my companion. I know I now see commitments as sacred. To hold them any other way is to open the door to be out of integrity. Being in integrity is something I’m passionate about. I see the consequence on me and everyone I hold dear when I don’t do what I say.
Life is ours to create. Every experience is ours to choose. I choose the direction of my heart rather than my mind. I hope that you find your way of heartfelt integrity. It offers you a world greater than you can imagine.