Fathers and Sons

Today is father’s day and I notice I’m kind of grumpy and I’m not clear why. There seems to be a hollowness when I feel myself as a father, always a good time to check those beliefs that warp perception.

Being a father is a sacred trust. It calls forth strength and vulnerability, courage and compassion, giving and receiving. Somewhere along the line, I created a perfect father “picture”. Maybe this was influenced by the television program, “Father knows best.” I know that sounds funny, but I can feel the messages of being a father who was always perfect with this wife and children in every situation. He was never angry or harsh. He always brought out the best in everyone in the family in every situation. What a standard to compare myself to!

In my inner exploration, I have found absolute gratitude and love for my father. Orrie was a great teacher. He loved me, and for many years didn’t know how to say it. I was unable to see his love in his actions. Before he departed from his body nine years ago, we had found appreciation for our similarities and differences. When he was gone, only love remained.

So, I thought I didn’t have anything else to uncover about fatherhood. Today’s awareness reminds me of the difference between being a son and being a father. As a son, I have found peace, but not as a father. I want to be perfect for my sons. I find myself lacking at moments, and my judgments are strident.

Looking at what I am not provides no space to see what I am. I know the power of the inner judge to obscure truth. I suppose I will continue to be offered evidence of this until I no longer judge myself or anyone else.

Now the real picture of me as father is coming into view. What a gift it is to be allowed to be father of all these beautiful spirits. It is I who offers them thanks for this privilege.

Author: Thomas White

Over the past thirty-five years, Thomas White has created and led private and public organizations that initiated breakthroughs in areas as diverse as computer software, publishing, printing, market research, leadership development and organizational change. The common ingredients in his success are simple. He looked beyond the limitations that others believed and found real solutions to needs that business leaders have. He attracted the best talent to translate these innovative solutions into practical products and services that were of high value to customers. He created cultures where people love what they do, work at their best and produce extraordinary results. In addition to his role as a business leader, Thomas has been a pioneer and inventor of technologies in the computer-networking field. He is a patent holder for innovations in business process and workflow technology. As part of his passion for educating others about the interface of human and computer systems, he was the co-author of “New Tools for New Times, The Workflow Paradigm”. He has also written articles for numerous publications. In 2001, he turned his attention from leading companies to supporting leadership teams in creating organizations of excellence. After many years of being a part of the machine of change, Thomas recognized that business is the most powerful force in the world. It has a major impact on public policy and governments everywhere. It is a key influence on how we use our resources and sets an example of the values that shape communities from local to global. He formed the consulting firm of Profoundly Simple to be a guide for exemplary leaders - leaders who wisely uses the power they are entrusted with to serve their constituencies first and themselves second; leaders who know that it is good business to treat people with respect, honor the environment and act with impeccable integrity – leaders who inspire greatness in those around them and by doing so create great organizations that are notable examples of success. Feeling the itch to get back into the game again, Thomas joined with two long time friends, to start the C-Suite Network. This network of business leaders offers an online network, events, services, and insights to its 500,000 member community. In addition, the C-Suite Network produces and distributes television and radio content to an audience of over 5M per month

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