For most of my adult life, I’ve been restless. Traveling over 4 million miles, I was in constant motion. In business, I was on the hunt for the next “deal”. At home, I was striving to have new experiences to take the edge off a boredom I felt. I was in search of home.
I was looking everywhere for a feeling of contentment that I sensed was home. I turned over every rock I could find and in some moments thought I had found the secret of home only to realize my discovery wasn’t home. Some times this quest was augmented with a yearning for intimate partnership. Maybe I couldn’t find home until I had the perfect relationship.
About five years ago, it began to dawn on me that home wasn’t a place. This realization didn’t come all of a sudden. I have been looking within since 1984. I have seen glimpses of home, and then it would slip away. Maybe it was discomfort with seeing myself unembellished by my ego. Whatever the reason, I kept looking hoping home would appear soon, as I was growing tired of the search.
Still, it took four more years for me to become certain where home is. Over the four years, I would feel I was totally clear, only to feel a yearning to go somewhere else. “The mountains are calling me” was the chant of the still restless spirit within. As that thought arose one day, I stopped and felt what was provoking this discontent.
I still hadn’t take the final step. I hadn’t accepted that home isn’t a place. It’s a state of being. Home is me. When I stop yearning and looking around for what’s missing, home is present. This feeling is now my constant companion. I haven’t felt a longing to explore other places in some time. I am now experiencing a home space that is exactly like my inner feeling of home.
I’m also not so keen on getting on airplanes. I still do, from time to time, but it’s never to go somewhere continue seeking home. I now feel contentment, and that’s tells me more than anything I’m home.
How about you? Do you feel yearnings for something that you don’t have in your life? Maybe you already have it and just don’t see it yet. A thought to take you into this weekend.
Sometimes, we feel a gnawing discontent. This arises from something inside that keeps letting us know that something isn’t right in our lives. In my case, this discontent has arisen many times and i have done my best to push it back down. Not in overt ways. I’m more subtle in my approach to my inner concerns.
“Yes, yes, that’s right things aren’t going well for me. Let me just finish what i’m doing” or “I need to do just one more things and then I tend to this concern”. The problem is there is never a comfortable moment so the dance drags on. Until there is a calamity of some sort and the noise is so loud that to ignore it could jeopardize my life.
I’ve had a long career of creating new businesses or helping businesses grow. The creative flow is very strong in me. I probably see a new business opportunity multiple times a day. The problem is that I’m have way more ideas than time and even when I take the time to engage a new idea, I don’t vet it as well as I could. Particularly, I don’t dig in and see how well this great idea is purposeful and is aligned with my most important values. I just jump in.
Which leads me to today. I used to have a writeup in this space about my wonderful accomplishments. Sure, I’ve done lots of things, but does that really matter to you? You might be more interested in why am I writing. I would be if i was reading this.
I’m writing because I love helping people see things they may have missed. Not to help them be smarter or think of me as a clever guy. The purpose is to help them have richer lives. So, few of us tap even a small portion of our potential. Each day that we pass the opportunity of a full life will never be recovered. I’m at a stage of life where this feels more important than ever. I do have regrets for not reaching this conclusion earlier and then again there is no time like the present.
I welcome any feedback you have or areas you are interested in exploring. If I have something to share, I’ll do so gladly. Thank you for reading and I wish you a full and rich life.
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One thought on “Home Sweet Home”
Thomas…I can relate. Much of my life has been restless, looking for fulfillment, contentment, whatever.
Now I am totally at home with ME….and the outer reflection of that is our beautiful home right here in Viroqua. I don’t need to live anywhere else….but I surely will enjoy going to England to visit our new grand-daughter!(smile)
Thomas…I can relate. Much of my life has been restless, looking for fulfillment, contentment, whatever.
Now I am totally at home with ME….and the outer reflection of that is our beautiful home right here in Viroqua. I don’t need to live anywhere else….but I surely will enjoy going to England to visit our new grand-daughter!(smile)