Fear of Power

I have a habit of listening to audiobooks while I drift off to sleep. Sometimes the earphones stay in place as I sleep. Last night, I set my iPod to Dune Messiah and put my head down. Quickly I was out. The saga unfolded overnight, and as I awoke, I was right in the middle of a confrontation between Paul Atreides, who is the emperor and someone who had been unmasked as his betrayer. The raw power that  Muad’Dib (another name for Atreides) exhibited was unsettling.

This unsettlement has been my companion this morning. I sit with my wife, most mornings, sipping tea and looking out at this amazingly beautiful spot we call home. We talk about whatever’s up. I was telling her about my discomfort. She asked me a few questions that helped me become clearer about what was so troubling.

I am afraid of power. Not the power over people that we traditionally think of when the word power is used. I’m talking about power that is the essence of all we see and are. This power allows us to create absolutely any experience we choose. The limits to the use of this power are created by my mindset.

By thinking that something isn’t possible, I inhibit my experience of this power. I believe that what I’m experiencing is all that there is. I have created a prison that traps me in a cycle of boom and bust, despair and happiness.  This cycle continues uninterrupted until I step outside of it and see what’s going on.

The most important action to take is an impeccable self-examination. This reveals all I am are and leaves no stone unturned. From this vantage point of truth, I see not only myself, but, everything else, for I am are but a hologram of everything.  Life is simple and profound all in one neat package.

Piercing the veil of the mind’s distortion is the key to finding that which I deny and, quenching all longings. My unrest as I awoke is a call from the truth for its discovery. Do I have the courage to look at this carefully and completely? Only time will tell.


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