I met a friend for coffee yesterday at our local hangout, the co-op. The co-op is a grocery store that fosters locally grown and organic products. It’s more than a grocery store, though. It’s a place where we see each other and talk and give support and face life and death.
As I sat down to talk with David, we began catching up on this and that, appreciating each other and deepening. At one point, I noticed a book lying in front of David. The book was Ensouling Language written by Stephen Harrod Buhner. I gave the book a cursory look and set it aside.
David thought I might find it useful in supporting a book I’m writing. Now I’ve been writing a book for six or seven years (actually a lot longer than that but, I’m a bit embarrassed to truthfully look at that). I am good at starting things, yet I peter out somewhere after the chapter outline and before the completion of the first chapter.
I’ve been encouraged by teachers and book agents. I have felt the inner call to write, and yet, I have never gotten past this “block”. When I returned home from my visit with David, I opened Ensouling Language. I was immediately grabbed by the collar and pulled inside. Stephen was talking to me about the soul of writing and it was ringing like crazy.
He offered me a taste of what I had been longing for – a guide to finding the voice within and a clarity about what inhibits it from making its way onto paper. I’m not finished reading Ensouling Language, but I already feel uplifted.
I teach about the obstacles to creation and have been working on those within myself for many years. As I read this morning, I saw, in a new light, a fundamental blockage that has sabotaged writing for years. I have stumbled each time over the belief that I’m not really a writer. “I am someone who teaches and can communicate verbally extremely well, but I’m no writer”, is how the voice tells the story over and over again.
This voice has a whole room full of baggage with it. Most of it comes from the beliefs I accumulated as a child about what it means to work. Work has been tied to working “hard” at a job. It was a model I witnessed, and then left unexamined as I rebelled against it since.
Already I feel freer and a sense of settlement is sitting with me as I write this. I know we all have deep beliefs that limit what we feel we can create. These beliefs can be elusive, as mine was. What we can do, though, is be alert to their presence.
Each of us has areas of life where we don’t experience the richness of creation in ways that we envision. We are confused about why this happens, and try to think of solutions. The problem is that thinking isn’t the way out. The way out is using the gift of feeling, which many call intuition.
When I allow myself the spaciousness to feel what limits me, I open the door for seeing clearly. Sometimes, I can detect my limitations immediately. This doesn’t happen often. Mostly, I start the process of detecting the hidden beliefs that undermine. There is no magic pill. It’s about a commitment to be engaged in discovery and remembering the joys of its fruit.
I invite you to sit after you read this and consider what may be blocking your full experience of life.