I was talking with a friend yesterday about sadness. Each of us feels this emotion from time to time and for the most part accept that we will simply be swept along with its feelings. Emotions are automatic reactions. When I am feeling the emotion, there are a number of associated physical reactions and thoughts that comprise my overall sense of sadness.
Sadness, quite simply, is our inner desire for something to be different than it is. I am sad because my relationship with a friend is ended. I am sad because I lost my job. I am sad because I lost a prized possession. In sadness, I am lamenting that something I want is no longer in my life.
Deliberateness asks us to accept what is. In the case of the lost job, it is not going to come back because I am sad. During my time of sadness, I am living in the past and wanting this memory to magically recreate that lost experience RIGHT NOW. The sooner I focus on what is so in my life, the sooner I move to deliberateness.
I am not suggesting that we don’t have feelings. That simply isn’t who we are as humans. What I offer is or us to consider the option to feel sadness (or any other emotion for that matter) and rather than fall into our old patterns of reaction and behavior choose, right now, in a deliberate way, how to respond to what’s right in front of us.