For those of you who read this Blog you may have wondered if I had stopped writing. Perhaps you thought that I was either busy or not interested in writing at this time. Actually, I was experiencing my own version of “writer’s block” My wife smiled
when I told her about this and said, “Well I guess you really are a writer”.
As I sat for the past four weeks many fragments of thoughts and Ideas came forth. I was sure each time that they would surely turn into something that I could share. Just as quickly as they surfaced, they faded away. After a few lines, I could feel nothing else to write.
I decided to take this time and understand what was blocking the creative process in me. I have heard a lot about this phenomena. Yet, I wasn’t really clear from what I had read about what was really going on. I think this creative block can happen to anyone. Whether you write, paint, build things or create music, you have experience a time when nothing seems to come forth. Its like being very thirsty and not finding water anywhere. If only you knew where to look.
As I witnessed this block, I noticed several things. The first was an impatience. Normally, when I get a thought for writing, I am able to sit down, let the idea flow out and voila… creation has happened. When I first noticed what I am calling writer’s block, this process wasn’t working. Rather than just sit, relax and let the message take whatever time it needed, I wanted it to work easily and quickly. After all, I am a busy person. As you might imagine that approach didn’t produce any result.
This was phase one of the writer’s block for me. Now to phase 2. After a few days of this experience, I found that my frustration created a change in my patterns. My normal practice was to rise early and write for an hour or so each morning. All of a sudden I had a million reasons why that wasn’t possible. I was traveling. I overslept. I have an important client commitment I have to take care of now. My wife needs my help with the children. The list goes on and on.
So now, I was not frustrated so much as I was just accepting that I “couldn’t” write because I didn’t have time. Of course, I knew this was bogus and I still let myself be tranquilized by the stories I was telling myself.
Now comes the third phase. Frustration reappears. This time it was from a different direction. I was frustrated because I was not able to provide useful insights to the Blog readers. This was interesting. I began to ask the question,” why am I writing?” I realized that an answer that I didn’t want to admit was that I was writing for others rather than because I love writing. I was having the “audience” be the motivation rather than self-fulfillment.
As I allowed myself to really understand this motivation, I remember why I love writing. I love writing because it allows me to be honest and is a canvas for sharing my gifts. Whether it is for myself only, one other person or many. It doesn’t matter
This brought me to phase 4 of writer’s block – surrender. I let go of my needs to write on schedule, or for anyone else or for any reason other than the joy of writing. Guess what? I am now writing again, with joy……
I look forward to sharing with you in the coming days whatever comes my way.