Introspection and Leadership

In·tro·spec·tion – the act of looking within oneself. When I talk with leaders, they all agree they should take more time for introspection. When I ask them, “How would you do that?” They generally don’t have a clue.

Introspection needs a “pump primer”. I don’t simply sit in a chair and say to myself, “Well, what do I see?” Introspection is catalyzed by fully participating in activities that take me out of traditional conversations and into ones that touch my spirit. Some people read. Joseph Badaracco, a professor at the Harvard Business School, talks about the power of reading fiction for introspection in his book, Questions of Character: Illuminating the Heart of Leadership through Literature.

For others, it might be painting or horseback riding or carpentry. It’s about throwing oneself completely into this activity so that all the threads to the operational world are quieted and the act of introspection arises. Great leaders know the importance of this practice and they value it as much as a meeting with their most important constituents.

My personal practice for introspection is reading and writing poetry. When I lose myself into the feeling that comes from being with a poem, a mirror arises and I see myself in ways that were not possible before. A recent poem that touched my soul follows this post.

I encourage you to find your place to lose yourself. While I talk about leaders in this blog, I really mean you, for each of us is a leader in some way.

Until later,

Thomas

What Can I Say

What can I say that I have not said before?
So I’ll say it again.
The leaf has a song in it.
Stone is the face of patience.
Inside the river there is an unfinishable story
and you are somewhere in it
and it will never end until all ends.

Take your busy heart to the art museum and the
chamber of commerce
but take it also to the forest.
The song you heard singing in the leaf when you
were a child
is singing still.
I am of years lived, so far, seventy-four,
and the leaf is singing still.

~ Mary Oliver ~

New Perspective of the Story of Narcissus

Friday is my day of reflection. I offer this excerpt from Paulo Coehlo’s book The Alchemist, and invite you to allow yourself to see your greatness in the reflection of others.

… when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

“Why do you weep?” the goddesses asked.

“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.

“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand.”

“But…was Narcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.

“Who better than you to know that?” the goddesses said in wonder. “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!”

The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:

“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful.
“I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

Until tomorrow,

Thomas

Remembering

I noticed that I put off writing today. I was very busy, you know. I have important things to do. I heard that story go on for hours and then I asked myself, “what the hell is going on here?” Oh, I don’t want to stop and reflect. I want to be like the robot, who is programmed to be busy all the time.

So stop I did and look out at the stream and the gray sky. The music the family is listening to travels in and I remember there are others in this world other than me. I don’t know if you have the same experience, but it’s so easy to forget what I said was important this morning.

I’m glad I remembered before the day is over, and now I write this poem. Poetry is the music that gives me perspective and a reminder that what’s real is seldom what I think.

Remembering

Sometimes it’s just a few words or a smell or a glance that brings everything to a halt.
I don’t know where they originate or their timing. They surprise.

The only thing is, I miss most of them. I’m cruising along as fast as my mind can travel
and there is so little else that I notice. I move deeper into my maze of thoughts.

I forget the moment when time last stopped. I overlooked your kindness just last night.
I only see the cold when the sun has been shining all day.

I blink and when I next look in to the mirror, I wonder what happened. Who is this
strange man looking at me? He seems so sad.

Is it too late to remember to stop and feel the breeze or taste the rain or feel your touch?
Maybe not; perhaps it just takes remembering what’s real.

Thomas

Are you lost?

Lost

Stand still.
The trees ahead and the bushes beside you Are not lost.
Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you,
If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still.
The forest knows Where you are.
You must let it find you.

An old Native American elder story rendered into modern English by David Wagoner, in The Heart Aroused – Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America by David Whyte

Slow down, you move to fast

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last

I sit looking out to the San Francisco Bay from my hotel room. My view of the bay looks across a busy freeway. People quickly driving to wherever they are going. Each of them driving at over 55 miles per hour. This constant motion contrasted with the placid bay reminds me of the past few days.

I have been working with the leaders of a consumer products company. They were taking time to be away from their normal routine to look at their current state and see a clear path to the future. As we spent time together, I was reminded again of how seldom we just stop and take a look at where we are. Mostly, we just keep moving. Worrying about what needs to be done, and the whole time not realizing where we really are.

I am grateful for this experience. For today, I am stopping my normal routine of focusing on where I am going (in this case I would be rushing to the airport for my flight home). Rather, I am going to drive to a park. I am going to walk for a while to just let the beauty of the park wash over me. I will allow this time to teach me what I am forgetting.

I wish you a moment of quiet in your day.

Until later,

Thomas

Technorati Tags: Intuition, Knowing, leadership, Peacefulness, Quite, Truth, Wisdom

Who decides?

Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions!

I was reading the magazine, The Week and came across a section on recommended books. The author Paulo Coelho was listing his favorite books. Now I am a fan of the author, particularly his book, “The Alchemist”. Immediately I began reading the description of the books he recommended with an inner desire to make sure that I took to heart what he felt was important. I could feel my sense of urgency rising to make sure that I immediately went out and read what he felt were the important books of our time.

Wait a minute. What am I doing? I am letting someone else decide for me what is important. Why am I doing that? I ascribe to this author power to know something that I didn’t – what are the best books to read. I thought ,”how often do I relinquish my choices to someone else?” In this case, I experienced an inner dialogue that said, “he is really famous and a good writer and you want to be like him, so you better pay attention to what he says.”

This was just an small incident, yet it showed me that I can often give the power for deciding what’s important to me to someone else. I do it because I don’t want the responsibility for the decision.  I may also delegate this choice because I don’t want to take the time to understand the criteria I have for determining what is important to me. It becomes “easy” to just accept someone else’s point of view. This could be as simple as reading religiously a movie critics view on a film I want to see or accepting as truth the perspective of a political commentator.

What to do… well I am going to stop letting others decided for me. I have a sense that it will take a bit of attention at first. I have to change this life-long pattern of delegating my power to others. I’m going to make choices by using the criteria I have for what is important to me and not let others point of view be the deciding factor.

I can’t wait to see what happens.

Until later,

Thomas

Technorati Tags: authenticity, courage, dotherightthing, integrity, Knowing, leadership, Peacefulness, Practices, Self, Trust, Truth, Wisdom

What to do when a mood overtakes you?

While considering what to write today, I was feeling in a bit of a gloomy mood. Not that anything was particularly going wrong in my life. Quite the opposite, all aspects of my life are great. So where did this mood come from and what do I do about it?

What is a mood anyway? It is a feeling that pervades all other experiences I am having. It runs the gamut from the high of ecstasy to a low of despair and all the variations in between. Moods are always triggered by some response that I am having to the world. They seem to arise without warning and can stay until they leave without any apparent reason. The triggering mechanism could be the inside world of my thoughts. I know that my thoughts seem to originate from places I don’t know and come with randomness and apparent lack of control by me. Moods can be sparked by a physical sensation or an encounter with something or someone else.

In most business settings the moods of people with great influence in the organization can affect everyone around them. It is not uncommon for people to call the assistant of an executive and ask, “what kind of mood is she in today?” The response to this question will determine if and how the person will approach the executive.
Having been an executive who was unaware of the impact of my moods on the organizations for which I was responsible, I can look back with amazement at the havoc I caused. If something was not going my way, I could become petulant. I can remember how people treated me during these times. It would either create a situation in which people did not tell me things (so they wouldn’t get a negative reaction because of the mood I was in), or they simply avoided me. In either case, I missed opportunities to connect with those I cared about and to whom I had responsibilities.

As I was sitting with my gloomy mood, I remembered that moods are something that I can keep for blossoming and change when I choose. I have a few “tricks” that help me now. The first is to realize that I am feeling a particular mood, like my gloomy mood this morning. I know that I am in a particular mood but the mood does not match up with my life at this time. Next, I have a few ways that help me shift out of the mood that I have slipped into. One is that I listen to music that distracts my mind so I can remember that I am the one who can change my mood. I can also sit in a quiet place and remember something that I care deeply about such as my wife or children. Now, I choose how I want to feel. LIke right now – I choose to feel creative, and so I am writing about this experience to you.

The ability to be aware of our moods is a key factor in being effective as a leader of a large corporation or a leader at home. I invite you to ask yourself right now, “What mood am I in?” and then “is it a mood that I choose to continue”. From there you will know what to do.

Until later,

Thomas

Technorati Tags: authenticity, Feeling, leadership, Peacefulness, Practices, Self, selfexpression, Wisdom