Clearing away confusion about being a member of a community.

I find my involvement in communities to be confusing. I show up with different concerns and expectations than others. I’m not sure what I can reveal and what I have to protect. I’m afraid to give my all, in case things don’t work out and I have all my eggs in one basket.

These concerns are at the core of why great communities are challenging to create and even more challenging to grow. Yet, communities are at the core of our humanity. For millennia, we needed communities in the form of tribal villages to survive. There were animals that wanted to eat us, and later other tribes that wanted to conquer us. As we evolved, we found communities to be a vital structure for agriculture and cultural development.

Most of the U.S. population lives in cities that bring out the challenges of living together in communities with modern concerns. There is an even greater lack of clarity about what it is to be a member of a community as many of us participate in them online.

Rather than let my uncertainty paralyze me, I sought help. Last year, as part of the Inside Out Radio program, I invited three guests who are leaders in developing successful communities.

My first interview, which is provided below was with Margaret Wheatley. I first encountered Meg when I read her book, A Simpler Way, where I received insights into seeing organizations as evolving systems. Since then, I have read each of her five additional books with great interest and gratitude.

Meg is the founder of the The Berkana Institute, a global charitable foundation. Berkana works in partnership with a rich diversity of people around the world who strengthen their communities by working with the wisdom and wealth already present in their people, traditions and environment.

I hope you find this conversation valuable. If you do, drop me a note.

Download MP3

What’s the Difference between Deliberate Fiction and Lying?

The other day, I mentioned this book I’m reading, Ensouling Language. The author, Stephen Harrod Buhner, is very helpful in awakening passion and bringing clarity of purpose to authors. Towards the back of the book, he talks about the pragmatics of getting your book published where he says, “If you only learn one thing about book proposals, learn this: they are a specific genre of fiction.”

This got me thinking about the plethora of examples of business fiction that we regard as non-fiction. The first example that popped up was a startup company business plan. Like the author of a book, the entrepreneur can’t tell you what will happen in 3 years or 2 years or even in 90 days. Everything is in the state of continuous change. That’s part of startups, and it must be this way. Yet, when these entrepreneurs make presentations to potential investors they tell them a story that is expected to be as close as possible to what’s actually going to happen.

This process creates great tension between the parties. Investors often accuse entrepreneurs of misleading them, and the entrepreneurs probably don’t feel too good about the situation either. If we could just agree up front that it’s not possible to know the future, and what is being presented is only today’s best idea of how things will turn out. Then we could all focus on how we can support each other in the unexpected twists and turns.

This storytelling happens in so many places. I remember when we applied for 501 c3 (non-profit) status with the IRS for our foundation. One of the IRS requirements is for the foundation to tell the IRS who it will be doing business with and at what level of spending over the next five years. HOW COULD ANYONE KNOW? If you don’t make up a plausible story, though, you don’t get past go with the IRS.

Is all this making liars out of us? Maybe. If we hold to the illusion that the future is knowable and pretend we can write stories that will turn out with certainty (kinda like fairy tales) then yes, many of us are liars. On the other hand, if we just stop and recognize we are writing fiction and it has the value of helping us see the potential of our future vision, then we can be in integrity.

I for one, suggest the latter. It’s better for everyone.

Until later,

Thomas

Simple Truths that can be Easily Distorted

The following is from my first new Business Matters radio episode. I’m going to be producing a new program a month that will air on the syndicated program, Inside Out Radio.

If you don’t remember, Inside Out Radio is the successor of Business Matters, we started last year. You can listen to the whole program here.

As I was considering what to share with you today, I was reading a quote from that great American pundit – George Carlin.

He said, “The public will never be concerned about global warming or the greenhouse effect. These words aren’t scary enough. Global means all encompassing; warming connotes comfort, green equals growth and house equals shelter. Growth, Shelter and all-encompassing comfort. Doesn’t sound like much of a threat. Relax…”

Every day we are bombarded with information and messaging from politicians and corporations – media companies and non-profit groups trying to distort our reality. They want us to relax into their worldview because it brings them more profits or power.

They are continuously feeding us their perspective on what’s true. Sometimes they do this with a very overt agenda. More often, though, the intention is subtle and hidden.

Here are a few examples.

There is a technique developed in the 1980s commonly called “astroturfing”.

Astroturf, as you know, is artificial grass. Astroturfing is when a private organization for some political or economic purpose pretends to represent a grassroots effort.

Why does this work? Our pre-disposition is to trust people like us. When we read or are in contact with people who say they represent an issue we feel is important, we trust what they say because we haven’t taken the time to understand the facts.

A famous example of astroturfing was the National Smokers Alliance. This was started by the PR firm of Burson-Marsteller on behalf of Philip Morris. They put together a campaign of phone banks and mailings encouraging people to contact their congressional representative urging them to vote against legislation aimed at discouraging teenagers from starting to smoke.

More recently, there were a number of “grass roots” campaigns launched to scuttle the Presidents’ health care initiative. These were funded by interests from pharmaceutical and insurance companies to “free enterprise” foundations.

They were so effective at convincing people that the legislation was bad for them, those who could best be served by it were some of its staunchest voice opponents.

How could this be possible?

These campaigns distorted facts with words like “death panels” or made statements that the program gave health care to illegal aliens. Rather than find out if these claims were true, people believe them because of their distrust of centralized government and put pressure on their congressional representatives to oppose this legislation.

Another great example for potential obfuscation is non-profit think tanks. Some are there for the purpose of providing you and I with information about critical issues, unfiltered by special interests. I applaud these organizations contribution to the public debate.

The challenge is that many groups are funded by a myriad of donors who want to impact public policy and the social mindset for financial gain.  Their sponsorship is often hidden and the research organization’s names are misleading.

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to see that they always support position of their primary benefactors.

Here a few thoughts on how you can become a more discerning consumer of information.

1. Remember you are responsible for what you believe. Don’t delegate this to someone else.
2. When you read or listen to someone who is offering you information turn on your discerning “ears” Listen carefully to what’s being said and if there is any discrepancy find more than one source to make sure what you are hearing is valid.
3. Follow the money of expert or grassroots organizations. If they don’t fully disclose who they are funded by- beware.
4.  If you find a company supporting astroturfing or deceptive practices, don’t patronize them with your money. This is the strongest encouragement you can offer to modify bad business practices.

Remembering the insightful comments of my interview with Michael Mandel on the special edition of recent Business Matters that our biggest challenge as a country is complacency.

We have grown comfortable with the status quo. For the most part, we are not directly impacted, at least as far as we can see, by the current situation. So why should we get out of our complacency to do anything different?

You and I are the only key to stopping these deceptive practices. And they will be stopped if they stop working.  They stop working when we once again become the informed citizenry that is reminiscent of the level of political awareness that was present at the founding of this country.

The Challenge of Looking Forward or Backward!

I was driving to town the other day remarking to my wife about our extremely warm, late winter/early spring weather. The trees are starting to get their leaves, and fruit trees are beginning to blossom. Some of our neighbors are putting vegetables in the ground. Normally, people don’t start planting until mid-May.

My first thought was that these temperatures aren’t normal. I started quoting the average high and low temperatures for this time of year. My conjecture was that it surely has something to do with global warming. Then I moved on to worrying that there may be a frost that would damage the fruit.

All of a sudden, I realized what I was doing.  I was putting my attention on either the past when I was comparing today’s temperatures, or the future, when I was worrying about a frost. While doing this, I was missing out on the beauty of today!

This is familiar to most of us. We spend time worrying about the future. Our inner questions are about what could happen. The more attention we place on the future through the lens of fear, we are both less present to what’s going on around us and see fewer possibilities.

Focusing on the past has even more interesting consequences. We look at the past as if it is a predictor of the present and future. We forget that every moment is unique. The myriad factors that make up my experiences right now can never be replicated. So, believing that the past will be duplicated is a formula for disappointment.

The only way to clarity is in the present moment.

Until later,

Thomas

Stumbling in the Darkness

This morning I awoke with a picture of a hot cup of tea in my mind. I arose and put on my sweater and slippers and made my way down the stairs. I began my journey to the kitchen with the warmth of the yet to be brewed tea filling my mind and stimulating in its anticipation my body. In my revelry, I stumbled over Marbles, the bunny who was sleeping in my path.

Startled he jumped to safety and I was reminded, once again of the consequence of being in the future rather than the present. What a gift it is to see what is right here rather than live in the dream of what will be and often have that dream shattered by the reality of tripping over the bunny.

To your day seeing what is right in front of you.

Thomas

On Writing Well or How to Do What you Love and get Paid for It.

I am a fan of Sharon Astyk’s blog. She offers a wide variety of wisdom on important global issues. Perhaps more important, she is a subsistence farmer, who offers wit and advice on how to live in a simple, more self-sufficient life. She is also an accomplished author of three books, “Depletion and Abundance: Life on the New Home Front” (Sharon Astyk), “A Nation of Farmers: Defeating the Food Crisis on American Soil” (Sharon Astyk, Aaron Newton) and “Independence Days: A Guide to Sustainable Food Storage & Preservation” (Sharon Astyk).

One of Sharon’s recent blog postings moved me. As you can tell, she is a serious writer. In the posting titled, The Writing Life, Sharon offers one of the most thoughtful, helpful and inspirational pieces about doing what you.

I work with many folks who are trying to bring together their passions and purpose with work. They often complain that you can’t really do what they love and have a good livelihood. That’s not my experience and Sharon’s piece pokes a big hole in that belief.

Sharon’s personal story is about doing what she loves because it’s the right thing for her to do. She didn’t start out writing so that she would make a lot of money or to have lots of readers. She says that when she started blogging (she recently celebrated her 1000^th blog posting), she didn’t know if there would be more than four people reading her blog.

Some will read Sharon’s piece and say she was lucky. I don’t believe in luck. I believe that Sharon is listening to that inner muse we all have. Some call it intuition will others may refer to it as sixth sense. This inner guidance is ignored by most of us because we have been taught that the only real source of direction is our logic of the opinion of others who know more than we do. I guess Sharon missed that lesson.

So whether you are a writer or someone who is wandering around with the question “how do I do what I love?”, this article will serve you well.

Until later,

Thomas

What goes up must come down

I love the lyric from the song “Spinning Wheel” by David Clayton Thomas

What goes up must come down
Spinnin’ wheel got to go ‘round

This morning I was reflecting on the ups and down of my life. The moments of excitement and the moments of despair. I picked up some favorite ancient texts (this question has been surfacing for all time) and immediately was presented with a conundrum.

I realized that I am addicted to the ups of life. I create so that I can feel the excitement of the highs. I landed a great contract. I got an accolade from someone I respect. I got a large check in the mail. You get the idea.

This addiction has a price tag. A cost that I forget each time I sip the elixir that will certainly give me the high. This simple law of opposites is that there is a low that must follow every high. This duality of life is the main part of living.

We breathe in, we breathe out.
We love, we hate.
We are born, we die.

Now, I mostly hope that the down will not follow the up. I pretend to myself that I can cheat the law of opposites this time around. I can do it through either my cleverness, or my authenticity, or by using my gifts.

Wrong. This law of duality is not escapable. Hoping it will be different is the foundation of suffering. I want the high because it feels so good. Then I begin running to escape the consequence of my choice.

I was with someone last week who was asking about love. She had accepted our cultural story of love that has been corrupted by romance novelists and movie makers. When you are “in love” the fireworks go off, and life is surreal, and you feel oh so good. She bought the story that this condition can last forever.

Anyone who has experienced the fireworks knows that they don’t last. Maybe you have had them last longer than most. There reaches a moment though when they fizzle. It may not be noticeable at first. You don’t want it to end so you start pretending you feel something that you don’t. Then the coolness sets in like morning fog and you start to feel things that you wish weren’t so. Small things about the other person begin to bother you. You may suppress it, but you both know that something is not right. In the end, a new relationship sets in. If you are fortunate, you grow together but mostly people become isolated and maybe feel a bit deadened.

We talked about another love. A true love that doesn’t live at the extremes. A love that is real and comes from embracing myself and others just as we are. A love that knows what’s true and has no need for anyone or anything to be different than it is. A love that gives without expectation. A love that is available freely to all who choose to receive it.

She felt very sad. The myth was punctured. She resisted even considering a life without the fireworks. I suspect she felt that she would be cheated of something important. We sat through her sadness and the beginning of peacefulness appeared.

Just as I am addicted to the high, we all have our emotional addictions. I know these addictions produce a fleeting feeling that is creating its opposite as it declines. By knowing this truth, I can step off the roller coaster and have a chance to feel something that cannot be described and is beyond belief.

Until later,

Thomas

Yin and Yang – Profoundly Simple

Probably you have seen this symbol before. It’s the Chinese symbol that is commonly referred to as Yin and Yang. As I was reading this morning, I was struck by a realization that everything that is definable is contained in this symbol.

All the experiences of life are either in the black or white. These experiences carry with them the seed of their opposite. We are living in a world that is filled with polarity. Say I am feeling happy. The sun is shining and the temperature is just the way I like it, the air smells fresh and the birds are singing. My emotions swell and my happiness soars. As it soars, the seeds of its opposite, despair, have been cast.

There will be a moment, maybe today, maybe a year from now, when I will feel what is commonly called the dark side. Like the Yin and Yang and its feeling of a wave, I will be fully tossed into my despair and sometime in that experience the seeds of happiness are sown.

A question may arise, “Well, what’s the point of happiness if it is invariably followed by despair?” Good question, for we have accepted that the ups and downs are inevitable. This “in and out” of the wave of our emotions comes from living outside the present moment. For the seed that is planted is a longing for something to continue. We like to live in the familiar. Even when I am in pain, I am often hesitant to leave its embrace because the next feeling is not known. I have made a friend with this darkness and I am afraid to walk away.

What would it be to just experience the moment. Not put any label on it such as, oh, this is good or this is bad or this is beautiful or this is ugly. What if I just feel the moment and not allow myself to label it or put it into a smaller box than is really fitting.

I can also see in this symbol in the fullness of anything that I encounter. For instance, if I am feeling that my current financial situation is totally desperate, this desperation is all I can feel. I can use this symbol as a tool and reminder. I can stop the depressing thoughts for a moment when I realize that all I can see of the Yin and Yang is black. I have come too close to see the whole picture. In my mind’s eye, I walk back until I can see both the yin and yang. I allow myself to see the wholeness of life and where this current moment fits in. As I watch my mood shift, what’s possible will be altered.

Seems simple, doesn’t it? What I find, over and over, is that life is profoundly simple, and it’s me that is running around making it complex and chaotic.

Until later,

Thomas

Technorati Tags: authenticity, Awareness, courage, Deliberateness, Feeling, inspiration, integrity, Intuition, Knowing, Practices, Self, simplicity, Truth, values, Wisdom

Michael – Zen Teacher of Gratitude

Today I was sitting in our living room when Michael, our 3-year old, turns from his play and asks me a simple question. “Papa, did you buy Thomas (the tank engine) for me?” “Yes, mom and I did.” “Did you buy Percy (another Thomas character) for me?” “Yes, MIchael, mom and I did.”

“Oh, thank you Papa!”. The genuineness of this appreciation was clear. The amazing thing is, he regularly asks me these questions, and each time he express his appreciation as if we had purchased the toy just minutes before.

As I was considering this interaction, I realized what a teacher this little one is. How often do I take for granted everything in my world. Sure, I might appreciate something when it is new or when I specifically reflect on what I am grateful for. What Michael was showing me is that gratitude is a constant feeling.

Each time that Michael plays with his toys, it’s like the first time for him. He remembers how he received the toy. He remembers who gave him the toy. He then feels appreciation for the toy and for the giver. He is filled with joy and gratitude.

What would happen if I treated each moment like Michael? All that I encounter is fresh, and I appreciate it anew in that moment. What joy my life would be filled with! I am sure that I would not have room for anger or fear if I am living this way.

Until later,
Thomas

Technorati Tags: authenticity, children, Gratitude, humanity, humility, Truth, Wisdom

You have to be Present to Win – Chopping Wood

I am not going to engage the title of the new book  (You Have to be Present to Win) in this blog (I know that the phrase “to win” has many interpretations that create the potential for misunderstanding the intent, and that’s OK).

I am going to talk today about an experience I had early this morning. My wife, Sherry, and I purchase a woodstove in the late fall. We had been talking about this for a few years and Sherry was concerned that we have a reliable heat source if our power fails for some reason in the dead of winter.

The day the woodstove was installed, we knew we had done the right thing. It is a cast iron stove that has an exterior of soapstone. The stone is slow to heat (which took some getting used to for me); however, when it gets hot it stays hot. We have found that even on very cold days, we can heat to an acceptable level our two-story home, even though the woodstove is not in the best possible location for air circulation. But I digress.

One of the pleasures of a woodstove is the morning ritual of chopping the kindling, organizing the fire in the belly of the stove, and then… bringing this potential for heat to life. What a joy to watch the fire catch the wood, watch it heat the draft and draw in the air it needs to intensify its heat so that it can sustain itself through the day.
This morning, our 10 year old was up early and I invited him to start the fire. I volunteered to be the one to wield the ax and chop the oak into the right size for building a great bed of coals.

I put on my gloves and grabbed the ax from the shelf on our sun porch. I searched through the woodpile to find the perfect piece of wood. I grabbed a number of pieces and, each time, my intuitive response was, “Not right.” Finally, I found a piece that felt perfect.
I propped it up vertically on the adjacent woodpile and put the ax in my right hand. Without a thought, and with a complete sense of peace and deliberateness, the ax came down on the wood with a single chop and a perfect piece of kindling flew off to the left. I continue this process of putting smaller and smaller pieces on the edge of the woodpile and chopping.

At one moment, my brain kicked in. It said something like, “Wow, this is easy, I wonder why?” That simple distraction changed the flow of wood chopping. The next downward chop missed the mark and bounced off the wood. This continued for a few more chops until I realized that I was trying to chop wood by thinking rather than feeling.

It was a moment of recognition about how many times I have entered into some area of life with singular purpose and the ensuing experience was either “hard” or did not turn out at all like my intention. Could it be that I was allowing my thinking to distract me?
Yep… thinking that is not deliberately engaged is distracting every time.

After I realized that “my best thinking” was making this wonderfull experience “hard”, I took a deep, deliberate breath and felt peacefulness return. I then finishing chopping all the wood we needed for the fire. When I brought it in to our young fire tender, he said, “Did you cut all that wood just now?” I smiled and nodded.
Life is easy when I don’t try to think my way through it.

How about you? Have you had experiences of “chopping wood” and found a lesson that covered your whole life? If so, I would love to hear about them.

Until later,
Thomas